No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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