Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
