Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
