so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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