took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I AM VODKA MAN
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize