I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Small penises have feelings too.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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