I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
