So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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