Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
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He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
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He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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