Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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