if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Who died my cat blue again?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
