she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize