oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
