Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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