ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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