Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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