Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize