I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
