it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
