i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
