So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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