my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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