can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
