Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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