how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
