Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
