I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize