She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he thought i was a dude.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
