I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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