we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
