my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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