...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
