Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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