The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
last night I used snow as a chaser
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
