we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
