those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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