He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This is classic penis vs brain.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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