we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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