I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
