you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
