this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I need to sanitize my soul.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize