Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
