google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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