it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
