you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
