I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
