Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize