well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
home. puking in laundry basket.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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