i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
