i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
