i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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