I'm so fucking centered right now
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize