They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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