doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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