haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
