i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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