So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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