hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
