I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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