You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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