We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize