I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
