Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
